Thursday, August 13, 2009

Learn to Self Disclose

People feel comfortable in the company of a person whom they know. They cannot be comfortable with someone whom they don’t know.

To make your friends at ease with you, it is necessary that you let them enter in heart. You need to open yourself to them. The more you open to yourself, the more they will be comfortable with you.

Discuss about yourself, your thoughts, hobbies, experience etc. Tell them your wins and failures. Sharing your failures is equally important or they will misinterpret your wins into self-praise. Tell them about the projects where you failed. Tell them about the ideas that did not work.

You can share your experiences, values and goals. You can tell them how you are planning to achieve your goals. Sharing helps in reducing the emotional distance. If you are married, you must have felt this. The more you shared with your wife, the more trust she gain in you. And the vice versa is also true. Even to the people whom you meet at the first time, you can disclose yourself.

I was waiting for my turn for the interview of a software company. Sitting with me was a guy busy with his papers. I started talking to him. Soon we both were taking about the equity markets. I told him that I lost money in the options trading. The result of our talk is that now he is a good friend of mine and I receive valuable tips from him.

But you must know your limits. Don’t tell them your secrets. You should tell only your public facts. If somebody is trying to invade you deeper into your personal matters, it never hurts to say that this is personal issue and I don’t want to discuss it.

Dianna Booher said, “Emotional distance create mental illness. To disclose improves your mental health.”

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